Tori set off on her way, skipping a few steps before settling into a brisk walk. She slowed for a moment and waited for Eli to catch up to her. And then it hit her. What exactly would they even do together? It was one thing to invite the boy to hang out but quite another to figure out what someone like him would like to do. One thing was for sure, her tanning plans were probably out the window.
As they passed through the double doors that led to the courtyard she shielded her eyes and shot him a smile. At least he isn’t allergic to the sunlight. She shook the thought away. That was kinda mean. Today could be fun if she just let it be. “Sooo, Eli,” she drawled, her voice landing on a higher pitch on the second syllable of his name, “I’m not quite sure what there is that we can do. I’d been planning on just laying out here, but that sounds a little boring with another person tagging along.”
It had been a while since Eli had spent time outside during the day. Usually, he’d sleep as long as he could and stay up at night. It was easier to avoid people that way and that was how he preferred it lately, but the doctor seemed to think that his sleeping pills were too strong and insisted he take a lesser dose. It kept him up, back to his normal, insomniac ways. He blinked a few times, adjusting to the light and switched his gaze to Tori.
“I don’t mind if you do. I can keep you company, unless you’d rather do something else.” He shrugged. He really had no preference. Boredom had become so normal that most things didn’t even seem boring anymore. Just watching her lay in the sun and talking to her seemed to excite him.
He smiled slightly seeing her so flushed, seemingly, he had shocked her as she just shocked him, so he assumed they were even. It was strange, how even without communication she could still trap his breath and make him shiver. She was something amazing, that was for sure. He felt like there was so many layers to this girl, like he had to unlock them.
“No…” He bit his lip. “You’re not interrupting. ” He tilted his head to look at her. Should he join her? Well, he knew he would regardless. Anything that caused him to be with her was heavenly. Although, he was sure he’d never get to fully experience it. Eli Goldsworthy was just not Tori’s type.
“I would love to, although…” He looked at the ground. “Are you sure you really want to spend time with me?” It was a legitimate question. Tori always seemed like she wanted to avoid him like the plague, but now she seemed to want to hang out with him. She could have easily walked passed and not have asked him, but she didn’t. Why?
Tori let out a breath that she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding when Eli assured her that her intrusion upon his alone time in the rec room wasn’t entirely unwelcome. She set his guitar against the chair and smiled up at him, eyes slightly widened as he finally looked over at her. There didn’t seem to be any contempt in his eyes, she realized with a bit of relief.
In fact, Eli seemed different. Tori had no idea what it was; possibly something in her had changed during her time locked up in Degrassi, or maybe it was just the lack of his name falling out of other people’s mouths, or maybe something really was different, but she wasn’t going to take time to question it now. Instead she was going to try intently to get the boy to join her outside for some fun. She was certain that they could both use some fun.
As soon as he said he was willing to join she jumped up from her seat, only to fall back down a moment later as he dragged out an although. Maybe they couldn’t let the past be the past, but it was summer and summer was an opportunity for new beginnings for everyone so Tori was going to try intently to let it die. “Of course I do,” she said with a tilt of her head, acting like she was questioning why he would even assume that she wouldn’t want to hang out with him. They didn’t have to talk about it, not right now at the very least. Standing again she asked, “are you coming or not?”
She wanted to hang out with Eli. He wondered if it was truthful, or just that he happened to be available at the time. Either way it seemed she didn’t want to elaborate on her change of heart and he wasn’t going to argue. Tori wanted to hang out with him and he was not going to argue with that. He smiled up at her, a faint smile, but the first smile he’d cracked in a while that was real.
He chose to leave his guitar where it sat. It was clear that Eli was no musician when it came to the instrument, so if others could enjoy it at least it had a purpose. He stood up to meet her stance and bowed slightly, waving his hand off to have her lead the way. “Certainly. You lead, I’ll follow.”
Tori jumped back as the boy beside her straightened out his posture, pulling his guitar on her lap fiercely against her body almost hard enough to knock the breath out of her. She pulled the instrument tighter to her chest as she became still, quieting the thing by placing her hands over the strings, a faint blush coloring her face.
“Not long,” she said with an unsure smile. “Am I interrupting anything?” Eli wouldn’t look at her. While some of her distaste for him had abated clearly he was still feeling animosity towards her. Maybe this was a bad idea.
Tori shifted uncomfortably and stared down at the strings of the guitar. Pushing a more genuine smile back onto her face she looked at him. It was a waste of a smile being that the dark-haired boy still wasn’t looking, but she didn’t let that stop her. “I was just heading outside- because it’s so nice- and saw you in here and was wondering what you were up to!”
He smiled slightly seeing her so flushed, seemingly, he had shocked her as she just shocked him, so he assumed they were even. It was strange, how even without communication she could still trap his breath and make him shiver. She was something amazing, that was for sure. He felt like there was so many layers to this girl, like he had to unlock them.
“No…” He bit his lip. “You’re not interrupting. ” He tilted his head to look at her. Should he join her? Well, he knew he would regardless. Anything that caused him to be with her was heavenly. Although, he was sure he’d never get to fully experience it. Eli Goldsworthy was just not Tori’s type.
“I would love to, although…” He looked at the ground. “Are you sure you really want to spend time with me?” It was a legitimate question. Tori always seemed like she wanted to avoid him like the plague, but now she seemed to want to hang out with him. She could have easily walked passed and not have asked him, but she didn’t. Why?
Eli was in no way a guitarist. He sucked at it, he could barely play ‘Seven Nation Army’ and that was pathetic enough. He succeeded more in his voice, but regardless, he continued to strum a painful sound. No one was around so he wasn’t worried about annoying anyone. Although, it was odd no one was in the rec room area at the time, but it was probably just because he was there.
Eventually, he set the guitar aside and put his ear buds in his ear, turning on ‘Stay Away From My Friends’ by Pierce the Veil and closed his eyes, singing to himself. Music had been a big part of his sanity the past couple months. Before then he’d only really spoken to Katie because they were sort of together, but he never really wanted to be. Truthfully, it was only to make Tori jealous, but it didn’t work.
Of course it didn’t work and he used Katie. He started to think he couldn’t be the nice guy he’d recently wanted to be so badly. There was no way to bring himself back up from what he’d done and no one was going to forget about it. Should he try to redeem himself? Didn’t matter, because he was going to try anyway. Starting with Adam.
Tori was ecstatic. The weather was finally beautiful. While normally these were the kind of days that she would have spent playing in the pool with friends and catching some sun she figured here at Degrassi she would now have to settle for laying out in the grass in an attempt to tan her already-olive skin. Therefore, immediately after finished a group therapy session she rushed back to her room, threw on a strapless sundress, and set off through the building to get to the fenced in outdoor area that residents were allowed to spend free time in.
As she hurried through the halls she found herself glancing idly through windows and open doors. It had been quiet lately, she hardly saw anyone around. As she passed one of the rec rooms she caught sight of a very pale someone that she hadn’t seen in a while. Eli Goldsworthy. Her distaste for the boy had lessened in his absence, and in the absence of scandalous stories surrounding him so she rushed into the room with the intent of asking him to join her.
Entering the room and rushing towards the older boy, she spotted a guitar next to him and made a beeline towards it. She picked it up and sat down, figuring he wouldn’t mind. She couldn’t really play, but she had taken piano lessons in her pageant days and used that as her talent so as she pulled at strings she found a few notes that she recognized and played from there waiting for the boy beside her to acknowledge that she was there.
Eli stopped singing as the song faded away and allowed the next song to play, hearing a faint sound of a guitar strumming as the song died and he cracked his eyes open to see that one beautiful brunette in a dress that showed off her glowing skin perfectly and shot up, pulling the earbuds out and furrowed his brows. “How long have you been here exactly?”
Instantly, his nerves started to form a deep feeling in his chest and he wondered why she was sitting next to him. Tori always seemed to force herself to speak to him… be nice because despite his reputation, she wouldn’t be rude to anyone. At least, not on purpose. Although, Eli knew more and more lately that she had all the reasons in the world to stay away from him. He was a horrible excuse for a human being and he knew that very well now, but regardless, he wouldn’t push Tori Santamaria away.
He would keep her close as possible, if she allowed it. He looked ahead of himself, fiddling with his ipod as he wrapped the cord for the earbuds around it and stuffed it into his pocket.
Eli was in no way a guitarist. He sucked at it, he could barely play ‘Seven Nation Army’ and that was pathetic enough. He succeeded more in his voice, but regardless, he continued to strum a painful sound. No one was around so he wasn’t worried about annoying anyone. Although, it was odd no one was in the rec room area at the time, but it was probably just because he was there.
Eventually, he set the guitar aside and put his ear buds in his ear, turning on ‘Stay Away From My Friends’ by Pierce the Veil and closed his eyes, singing to himself. Music had been a big part of his sanity the past couple months. Before then he’d only really spoken to Katie because they were sort of together, but he never really wanted to be. Truthfully, it was only to make Tori jealous, but it didn’t work.
Of course it didn’t work and he used Katie. He started to think he couldn’t be the nice guy he’d recently wanted to be so badly. There was no way to bring himself back up from what he’d done and no one was going to forget about it. Should he try to redeem himself? Didn’t matter, because he was going to try anyway. Starting with Adam.
Zig felt good for once that someone had trusted him enough to tell him their thoughts and secrets. He was glad that Eli has told him that and he didn’t seem like a bad person to talk to, maybe a bit confused but there was nothing wrong with that. He felt a bit more comfortable with him now that he looked more calm. Zig finally looked up at him not feeling scared at all.
“I understand you completely” He responded to Eli. His feelings toward Maya were clear, he liked her a lot. It was better that she wasn’t like him at all. She was more pure and a good person. He hoped that he wouldn’t screw up anything between them because if he did they would no longer be friends and then Zig would feel empty and all alone again since he first went at Degrassi.
Zig bit her lip and he wasn’t really good at talking to people, especially where he was right now. “Um, I just needed to think about something you know. It’s mostly about this girl” He admitted to him. He needed to talk to someone and why not talk to him right now when he has the chance he thought.
“It’s nice to know someone does.” A sigh of relief escaped his lips as he leaned against the tree. “I’ve felt like the lone ranger since I’ve been here, but I guess I was asking for that with how I came into the place.” He chuckled awkwardly, thinking of the situation with Imogen. He’d felt bad now, knowing Imogen wasn’t a bad person and nor was Adam. Adam hadn’t been at his best since then and Eli knew it was all his fault. He felt some form of regret and only hoped Adam would give him a chance to apologize. Start over and maybe he could mend Adam and Imogen’s relationship.
“Well, think aloud. I’m more than willing to help, or listen. You’re probably the first person I’ve talked to here that hasn’t outright judged me, even though I’m a total asshole.” He shrugged. “What girl is this? Maya?” He smiled knowingly. The two had been ‘friends’ for months with an obvious attraction to each other.
The Academy Is…| We’ve Got a Big Mess On Our Hands
Somebody get my phone, so I can throw it in a public pool
And watch it float, and as it’s slowly sinking down
Become a social ghost, inside a box cut at the top
To let some light shine in to remind me what I’ve done and where I’ve been…
Zig nodded and then sat next to him listening to what he was saying. He didn’t know him at all but it sounded like to him that he was in a huge mess. He felt bad for the guy and he wished he could help but at the same time Zig needed help too and Zig isn’t the one that should be helping someone when he is the same.
Hearing his problems and about his ex girlfriend was so much and he wondered how the guy is going all through this. Zig didn’t interrupt him, he let him talk about his problem. He would rather listen than giving him bad advice or something. This girl that he was talking about had him wondering who she was. After he finished rambling Zig opened his mouth to speak.
“This girl really has made an impression on you, right?” He spoke softly looking down at the ground. He didn’t make eye contact with him, to be honest by the way he was talking had him a bit scared but he tried not to show it.
There was some comfort in knowing that Eli had a possibility at making a legitimate friend here. Zig was the first person he had confided in, in this place. Not even Whiskers had gotten so far. And that was something for this kid to be proud of. He didn’t know why, but Eli found a sort of trust and bond with this kid. It seemed as if, just him sitting down next to him, he’d gained a little bit of sanity.
“She has. I don’t know much about her, but something about her optimistic outlook… despite being mildly full of herself, which, of course, she has every reason to be, she caught my attention like no one else has. I think I like her because she’s not like me.. if that makes sense.” He sighed, rubbing his temples. “I don’t know. I know I can’t give up yet, but sometimes it seems as though it’s the only option.”
He didn’t know what he expected this kid to say, but mostly, Eli just wanted to talk. He didn’t really need any advice he just needed to let it out. Get it out of his head and into another’s. Somehow, just that helped a lot. “What about you? What are you doing out here so late?”
His palms were sweaty, his hands shaking with not a chance to grasp reality. He felt so hopeless, like he couldn’t stop this feeling no matter how hard he tried. He craved consistency. Something worth his time, but this place was getting boring and lonely. In the past few weeks he kept to himself,…
Zig was locked in his room the whole day remembering everything about what has happened not too long ago. The thought of him kissing Maya kept on playing in his mind and it would never go away. He would sometimes dream about her and it scared him to death how much he liked her. He didn’t want her to leave him, she seemed okay and he didn’t know why she was in this crazy place. He knew that she would be the first one to get out from the both of them and it hurt knowing that one day that she won’t be there for him.
He began to panic, he couldn’t have someone leave him again. They weren’t boyfriend or girlfriend but he had so many people leave him that he would try not to get close to anyone. He needed some air he thought. He left his room with Jake in it rambling on about how hair is so perfect but Zig just tried to block him out. Zig walked around the place and he didn’t know exactly where he was going he just kept walking. He was outside now and the breeze gave him goosebumps.
He walked slowly around looking at his surroundings, it was nice out here. Nobody could bother you and he could stay here without anyone disturbing him. He heard some noise and he turned walking where he heard it. He was getting closer to it, it was heavy breathing and he wanted to make the sure person was okay because the way it sounded like they weren’t okay. He finally got there and saw a guy, he looked familiar. The memory instantly went back to him. He saw him at the part of Anya and Adam’s. He accidentally bumped into him and that guy didn’t seem happy about it. What was his name? He thought about it and then it came to him….it was Eli! “Um…are you okay?” He spoke softly hoping he wouldn’t get mad at him for finding him outside.
Eli lifted his head, brushing the hair from his eyes and sighing, recognizing the younger guy from the nut house and nodded his head. “I will be.” He chewed on his lip, taking a deep breath through his nose before shifting his gaze. “Can I ask you something?” He patted the spot next to him, silently offering it to the boy before speaking again, not bothering to wait for an answer.
“Have you ever felt so crazy about a person that it just makes you want to tear every bit off skin off your body just in the hopes that the pathetic desperation will make them want you somehow?” He thought for a moment, realizing how crazy that sounded. Crazy. How fitting for the insane. “I haven’t loved a single human being since my dead ex girlfriend and when I do, none of it makes sense. I look at her and hope that somehow she’ll change her mind and love me back, but she won’t. We’re from two different worlds. It’s just impossible.”
He didn’t mention that it wasn’t Katie he was talking about, but it was already made obvious by his previous statement, because clearly, Katie had feelings for him and Tori did not. And she never would. “Normally, girls aren’t so complicated to me. They’re simple creatures, easy to manipulate, but I don’t want to do that anymore. And especially not to her and it’s never worked out for me anyway.”
